Moving right along then - the day we decided that I should go off of birth control, I sat down to have a talk with God. There were about a billion reasons why this frightened the bejeebies out of me. Just to name a few:
- As I mentioned before, I was about to start an intense two year program that I had just spent over a year trying to get into. A baby would make it extremely difficult or impossible to get through the program.
- I liked birth control. I loved it. It was easy and the negative parts of my period had lessened or disappeared! I didn't want to go back to that.
- All the other options for delaying pregnancy - (barrier methods such as condoms amd diaphragms) sounded distinctly more unpleasant. And Natural Family Planning (NFP)? Yeah right - that never works!
And then I found myself saying to God, "I just don't trust you!!"
Oh....... Have you had this moment? When you listen to your own words and hear how foolish you sound? When you look at yourself and you look at God and you are immediately humbled? Praise God for his patience and grace.
It was clear to me almost instantaneously that this was not an area of my life that I trusted God - and it's a really important area. I trusted a pill or a stupid flexible ring thing more than my Creator and Lord and Savior. I liked having that part of my life controlled by me. It occurred to me that birth control is maybe a sneaky way that the enemy has captured us and tempted us. Our culture is becoming more and more convinced that sex is a primal human need that we can't live without, we have a right to it because we just might die without it, and we should do everything we can to be sure that it has no consequences. How devious... and ridiculous. I suddenly wanted to be rid of birth control as soon as possible.
Important side note here: If you face real challenges with your fertility or menstrual cycles, then the use of hormonal contraception may be very valuable to you as a treatment for a real condition. I am in no way trying to undermine such use.
I also took a practical look at birth control. I like to make healthy and natural choices, and there's really nothing either healthy or natural about hormonal birth control. You have an increased risk of blood clots, stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, and certain types of cancer. And it essentially causes you to be infertile and can decrease your libido. Changing your body through man-made chemicals to cause yourself to be infertile when you are only wanting to delay pregnancy seemed a bit extreme to me when I thought about it. Fertility is a gift never to be taken for granted. I'm all for embracing my womanhood and not squashing it. The feminist movement shouts from the mountaintops that contraception and abortion gives women freedom - I now believe that that culture is overwhelmed with deception and shackles. I am asserting myself as a woman who stands against it because it has become evident that while they are shouting from the mountaintops we are keeping silent to avoid the discomfort and conflict.
So Why NFP?
First, NFP is foundational to the Catholic beliefs and a lot of the information out there is from them, which is why I will reference them. However, NFP should not be discarded simply because you're not Catholic. There's good stuff here for everybody. We researched NFP and have been practicing it for over a year now. We have combined NFP with barrier methods during fertile days and we have done NFP only (which is abstaining during fertile days). The Catholic church strongly discourages the use of barrier methods. The problem with those methods for us Christians is that they both reduce the mutual pleasure during sex and prevent pregnancy. Since it interferes with both of the two purposes of sex designed by God, they can interrupt the union that God desires us to have. To clarify, I don't at all believe personally that using these methods is wrong, but it's something to evaluate as a Christian couple. It's up to you! If I haven't said it yet and if it isn't obvious, it's very important that you openly discuss these issues and make decisions together!
Here are some benefits to NFP only:
The Symptothermal Method of NFP involves taking daily observations on a chart of your basal body temperature, cervical fluid (or "mucus", but eww, who wants to use that word?), and you may check cervical firmness and position. Since you observe all of these signs, it is more effective than other methods of NFP that have you observing only temps or only fluids. Similar to remembering to take a pill at the same time every day, you need to take your temperature at the same time every morning before getting out of bed. Your body temperature will shift an average of 0.4 degrees after ovulation and then decline again before your period if you are not pregnant.
To learn the ins and outs, we actually went to classes with the Couple to Couple League, a Catholic organization. This was partly because I wanted to meet people that actually use it and can vouch for it working and partly because I just learn better that way and it was pretty important that I get it right! Yeah, it was a little weird and awkward, especially when we found ourselves watching the videos in their living room with their teenage children wandering around! Don't worry, that's not a normal occurrence. Anyway, the class was still very helpful, and it's spread out over a few months so that they can look over your first charts and answer any questions. They give very straightforward, specific, and conservative rules to follow as well as providing you with everything you need to get started with your fee for the class- 99% effectiveness with perfect use.
Another popular book and website for learning and charting is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This is from a non-religious viewpoint and is also the Symptothermal Method.
I'm praying that I have cleared up some misconceptions about the use of NFP and have encouraged you!
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. - Gen 2:24
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. - 1 Cor 6:19
Important side note here: If you face real challenges with your fertility or menstrual cycles, then the use of hormonal contraception may be very valuable to you as a treatment for a real condition. I am in no way trying to undermine such use.
I also took a practical look at birth control. I like to make healthy and natural choices, and there's really nothing either healthy or natural about hormonal birth control. You have an increased risk of blood clots, stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, and certain types of cancer. And it essentially causes you to be infertile and can decrease your libido. Changing your body through man-made chemicals to cause yourself to be infertile when you are only wanting to delay pregnancy seemed a bit extreme to me when I thought about it. Fertility is a gift never to be taken for granted. I'm all for embracing my womanhood and not squashing it. The feminist movement shouts from the mountaintops that contraception and abortion gives women freedom - I now believe that that culture is overwhelmed with deception and shackles. I am asserting myself as a woman who stands against it because it has become evident that while they are shouting from the mountaintops we are keeping silent to avoid the discomfort and conflict.
So Why NFP?
First, NFP is foundational to the Catholic beliefs and a lot of the information out there is from them, which is why I will reference them. However, NFP should not be discarded simply because you're not Catholic. There's good stuff here for everybody. We researched NFP and have been practicing it for over a year now. We have combined NFP with barrier methods during fertile days and we have done NFP only (which is abstaining during fertile days). The Catholic church strongly discourages the use of barrier methods. The problem with those methods for us Christians is that they both reduce the mutual pleasure during sex and prevent pregnancy. Since it interferes with both of the two purposes of sex designed by God, they can interrupt the union that God desires us to have. To clarify, I don't at all believe personally that using these methods is wrong, but it's something to evaluate as a Christian couple. It's up to you! If I haven't said it yet and if it isn't obvious, it's very important that you openly discuss these issues and make decisions together!
Here are some benefits to NFP only:
- It's as natural and organic as you can get!
- It's pretty much free! You only pay up front costs of a digital basal thermometer, book, class, or maybe an online membership or app for charting.
- It's also freeing. I can just be me. It is so incredibly empowering to take charge of your own body and not just pop a pill. Because nothing is wrong with me! Man, I feel like a woman! (sorry, had to do it) God ended up allowing me to keep control, but first I had to give HIM control and have faith.
- Time with your Hunny is better. Yes, there is less of it. Yes, it is an adjustment and it is difficult, especially for the guys (My Hunny jokes that it is the "No Fun Policy!"). But it's never taken for granted, there's nothing plastic involved or weird side effects from your birth control, and it's in it's purest form. It's a great way to keep anticipation and excitement in your marriage. It's like having a little honeymoon every month. And, there are other fun ways to be intimate...I'll leave it at that. Sorry mom!
- If you would like to have children in the future, charting can reveal issues with your cycle that may affect your fertility. Likewise, it can be reassuring to see the green light for whenever you're ready. You can go ahead and start working on trying to straighten an issues out, which may simply be a change in diet or an added supplement. There likely won't be any big surprises when it comes time for you to try to conceive.
- When it is time for you to try to conceive...just do it! (But be sure to read up on post-baby charting because it gets squirrely or pretty much impossible while breastfeeding.)
- It can bring you closer to God and each other. When you keep the principles of patience and self-control in that aspect of your life, as we should in all areas of our lives, it is humbling and God will honor it. I have also been blessed that my cycle has not fallen back into the discomfort that it was before I started the pill! What an answer to prayer.
The Symptothermal Method of NFP involves taking daily observations on a chart of your basal body temperature, cervical fluid (or "mucus", but eww, who wants to use that word?), and you may check cervical firmness and position. Since you observe all of these signs, it is more effective than other methods of NFP that have you observing only temps or only fluids. Similar to remembering to take a pill at the same time every day, you need to take your temperature at the same time every morning before getting out of bed. Your body temperature will shift an average of 0.4 degrees after ovulation and then decline again before your period if you are not pregnant.
To learn the ins and outs, we actually went to classes with the Couple to Couple League, a Catholic organization. This was partly because I wanted to meet people that actually use it and can vouch for it working and partly because I just learn better that way and it was pretty important that I get it right! Yeah, it was a little weird and awkward, especially when we found ourselves watching the videos in their living room with their teenage children wandering around! Don't worry, that's not a normal occurrence. Anyway, the class was still very helpful, and it's spread out over a few months so that they can look over your first charts and answer any questions. They give very straightforward, specific, and conservative rules to follow as well as providing you with everything you need to get started with your fee for the class- 99% effectiveness with perfect use.
Another popular book and website for learning and charting is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This is from a non-religious viewpoint and is also the Symptothermal Method.
I'm praying that I have cleared up some misconceptions about the use of NFP and have encouraged you!
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. - Gen 2:24
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. - 1 Cor 6:19
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